December 28, 2014 § Leave a comment
Chewed my nails down to nubs. Most of them. Not for a coke nail, my forefinger on left, my thumb on right. Not any purpose. Actually, if anything, they were just the nails that didn’t break. I just got back from Christmas at my grandparents’ on Manitoulin Island. The drive is always brutal, and the ride back, of course my mother forgets her purse at the restaurant we had lunch. Set us back almost an hour to drive back for it. And she just pisses me off all the time, so I feel validated in bitching about her? That’s not true and I’m sorry. Especially with family, or friends of family, I just…I really hate the things she has to say about me. Not to other people, just to me. Because she wants to shut me up, none of what I say or am she seems to like. I’m sure a lot of this is fabrication (I hope it is). Maybe it’s scarier when my brother brings up his own thoughts on the matter, how rude or inappropriate she can be to me. This kind of shaded secretive way she does it. No one is meant to see except for me, really. My dad has told her before at more extreme times. I remember my birthday dinner two years ago…she never takes anything well. This may be more of a story for later. Sorry I’m a fuckbag blogger.